Fine, I'll admit it. I love Oprah. When 4PM rolls around, there's nowhere I'd rather be than wrapped up in my comforter listening to Oprah yell celebrity names . There's some sort of serene Earth Mama quality to her- something about her fluffy hair and rotund physique that makes me want to curl up in her lap and take a nice little cat nap.
With this in mind, I was a little sad to hear that she was retiring her show after 25 years, but then I remembered that this means I will never ever have to endure another Oprah sex show. Nothing horrifies me more than an Oprah sex show- whether she's asking Jenna Jameson her favorite posish or exploring teen "sexting," I really don't want to hear it from Oprah. Regardless, I can't look away. Maybe I'm just all too haunted by awkward childhood memories of witnessing my mother watch these episodes (i.e. she power walked on the treadmill in sneakers and a skirt with the tv on), but whatever the case may be, I am thrilled that I'll never have to hear Oprah say "G Spot" again.