heroine

my kinda celebration

amazing.

Kirstie Alley has Great Hair

Look, I find Kirstie Alley to be as annoying as the next person. It totally sucked when she took over Shelly Long's role in Cheers (yes, I was 5, but believe you me, I could feel the tension rising in the household the day that Alley moved on in). Yes, she's a loudmouth. Yes, she's a mammoth woman of epic Scientological proportions, but you know what? she has great hair. Amazing, amazing hair. She deserves some credit for that.

Things I Don't Understand: Wonderbread Embroidery

Perhaps it is more acceptable that I initially thought, seeing as it is a print and all... but what? Who does this?

Gimme

Balenciaga sunglasses
$438

Thanks, Barneys

God bless Barneys. I remember when I first heard of this place back in '93 and I thought it had something to do with a certain TV dino. I was way off. Now, they have taken over my inbox... but look, you can get a scuba dress for $425. And free shipping! What a deal!

Uncle Karl would not approve

At least the coke is diet.

Style Icon: Sue Ellen Crandell

And now I'm craving a Clowndog

Things I Don't Understand: Shave the Baby

Thank God we have HuffPo to unveil the real hard hitting news.

I mean we all have to learn how to shave our hair suspenders at some point- might as well practice on a doll.

Thanks, Mix.

Mess With a Good Thing

The Original

And my most favorite knock-offs

Is that a McDowell's bag?

My Cat Wears Tupac Shoes

Today's best Craiglist For Free posting:

Upcoming Date/Wedding/Bar Mitzvah/Urb Awards?
Ironic hipster? 12 year-old from the suburbs?

Need a forever home for one pair of (size unknown) Tupac sneakers. Left in home by drunkard ex roommate. Some suspicious matter compressed in left heel.

Will be in street after rain stops.
Email for details.

Ambitionz a ridah.

Women I Admire

Petunia, Pete & Pete

Gimme

Kiki De Montparnasse,

$350 for the set, Net-A-Porter.com

Where We Ride On Them Things Like Everyday

Don't get me wrong. I love me a some good Zebra. Girl, let me tell you... Fruit Stripe Gum? I'm there. But on the downtown connecter in Atlanta? Don't think so. Besides, this zebra doesn't even come with free fake tattoos.

Ke$ha

Ad from House and Garden Magazine, 1961

My Top 10 Karaoke Songs

Karaoke should never be pretentious. No Kate Bush and no Joy Division.

1. Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby

2. Alanis Morisette - You Oughta Know

3. Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule - I'm Real (Remix)

4. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

5. Liz Phair - H.W.C.

6. Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen

7. Hole - Violet
Bonus: You can blame all of your bad behavior on just being really good at impersonating Courtney Love

8. Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta

9. Deniece Williams - Let's Hear It For The Boy

10. En Vogue - Never Gonna Get It

Ode to Ice Cream by Vada Sultenfuss

I like ice cream a whole lot/It tastes good on days that are hot/On a cone or in a dish/This will be my only wish/Vanilla, chocolate, rocky road/Even with pie, a la mode.

Never 4get U, Thomas J.

The Most Ridiculous Tattoo Ever

Because Vonnegut is so 1922-2007.

I do not have testicles.

My hair lady recommended that I use Gold Bond to keep my bangs from getting dirty. Help! I feel pervy and would simply die if someone saw this in my bathroom and assumed I had testicles.

New Yorkers, This Is Not Acceptable

Cowboy rainboots. Hideous. Pick a theme and stick with it. There is no reason that I should've seen two different people wearing these this morning. Now, that's not to say that cows and rain are mutually exclusive, but at least on the Q train they are.

Here are some better ways to spend $69:

1) 35 Chik-Fil-A chicken biscuits

2) 11 bargain bin DVD's from Duane Reade

3) 39 Momofuku Milk Bar Cereal Cookies

4) .03 Balenciaga Biker Jacket

Everytime a New Yorker wears cowboy rainboots, LA wins a little. We've got to think big picture here.

Must Find Karina

DAMN DIS **** WOK ALL MY FREINDZ HAV DIS AND IT LEAVES THERE HAIR THICK AND NOT PUFFY U SHOULD TRY IT BUT IT WORKS GOOOD DAMNNNNN BUY IT IT REALLY WORKS TRUST ME I HAVE IT AND WORKS FOR OVER 3 YEARS I HAD IT SINCE 2007 AND IT STLLL WORKS SO GET IT

Gimme

A little vulgarity never hurt anyone.

Sweet Nothings Necklace, $40

Bonadrag

This Dog Was Definitely a Confederate Soldier in its Last Life

Poor Bitch

Is anyone else feeling bad for this bitch Kika? Poor mama Shiba Inu has really been put through the ringer- only had fourteen months between her deliveries. That's barely enough time to repair stretch marks and get back her tankini-ready body. And on top of that, all eight of her boobs are on display for the world to see. Somebody please get this lady a stiff drink.

I'm still missin' you, boo

Ms. Richardson, If You're Nasty

Well I guess we now understand where flannel-spokesman/photographer Terry Richardson gets his taste for waify women with crazy hair and bad teeth.

His Mom.

There's more to be found on his new photo diary website, where you can see that Terry fancies supermodels, posing with celebs, lunch at Balthazar and jet-setting to St. Barth's. Kinda hard to blame the guy, I guess.

Things I Don't Want.

Knitted Placenta, $7

Etsy

Knitted Uterus, $10

Etsy

Ah, Youth.

Anyone else remember the good ol' days of the internet? I spent warm afternoons in the Fall of 2003 changing my college roommates desktop background to tubgirl. Sigh.

Truth.

via

Craigslist

I'd really appreciate it if someone could please explain this Craigslist posting to me.

Will Michael Cera Ever Finish Going Through Puberty?

Now, I know he's Canadian and probably has had little sun exposure, but seriously, Michael Cera seems incapable of aging past 15 1/2 years old. According to some sources, Michael is 21 years old, but it's simply not believable. Perhaps he is holding out so he can play young George Michael if the Arrested Development movie ever gets made. Maybe some studio executives put him up to this so he could corner the awkward tween market for life. OR maybe he's just drinking the same kool-aid as his semi-girlfriend Charlyne Yi (from that god awful Paper Heart movie.) Regardless, George Michael has got some 'splaining to do. Whatever he's doing works and needs to be marketed to aging women immediately.

Daphne Guinness, I want to be you

Daughter of a Baron, muse of Karl & Marc, gold digger extraordinaire: O, Daphne Guinness, I adore you.