heroine

my kinda celebration

amazing.

Kirstie Alley has Great Hair

Look, I find Kirstie Alley to be as annoying as the next person. It totally sucked when she took over Shelly Long's role in Cheers (yes, I was 5, but believe you me, I could feel the tension rising in the household the day that Alley moved on in). Yes, she's a loudmouth. Yes, she's a mammoth woman of epic Scientological proportions, but you know what? she has great hair. Amazing, amazing hair. She deserves some credit for that.

Things I Don't Understand: Wonderbread Embroidery

Perhaps it is more acceptable that I initially thought, seeing as it is a print and all... but what? Who does this?

Gimme

Balenciaga sunglasses
$438

Thanks, Barneys

God bless Barneys. I remember when I first heard of this place back in '93 and I thought it had something to do with a certain TV dino. I was way off. Now, they have taken over my inbox... but look, you can get a scuba dress for $425. And free shipping! What a deal!

Uncle Karl would not approve

At least the coke is diet.

Style Icon: Sue Ellen Crandell

And now I'm craving a Clowndog

Things I Don't Understand: Shave the Baby

Thank God we have HuffPo to unveil the real hard hitting news.

I mean we all have to learn how to shave our hair suspenders at some point- might as well practice on a doll.

Thanks, Mix.

Mess With a Good Thing

The Original

And my most favorite knock-offs

Is that a McDowell's bag?

My Cat Wears Tupac Shoes

Today's best Craiglist For Free posting:

Upcoming Date/Wedding/Bar Mitzvah/Urb Awards?
Ironic hipster? 12 year-old from the suburbs?

Need a forever home for one pair of (size unknown) Tupac sneakers. Left in home by drunkard ex roommate. Some suspicious matter compressed in left heel.

Will be in street after rain stops.
Email for details.

Ambitionz a ridah.

Women I Admire

Petunia, Pete & Pete

Gimme

Kiki De Montparnasse,

$350 for the set, Net-A-Porter.com

Where We Ride On Them Things Like Everyday

Don't get me wrong. I love me a some good Zebra. Girl, let me tell you... Fruit Stripe Gum? I'm there. But on the downtown connecter in Atlanta? Don't think so. Besides, this zebra doesn't even come with free fake tattoos.

Ke$ha

Ad from House and Garden Magazine, 1961

My Top 10 Karaoke Songs

Karaoke should never be pretentious. No Kate Bush and no Joy Division.

1. Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby

2. Alanis Morisette - You Oughta Know

3. Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule - I'm Real (Remix)

4. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

5. Liz Phair - H.W.C.

6. Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen

7. Hole - Violet
Bonus: You can blame all of your bad behavior on just being really good at impersonating Courtney Love

8. Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta

9. Deniece Williams - Let's Hear It For The Boy

10. En Vogue - Never Gonna Get It

Ode to Ice Cream by Vada Sultenfuss

I like ice cream a whole lot/It tastes good on days that are hot/On a cone or in a dish/This will be my only wish/Vanilla, chocolate, rocky road/Even with pie, a la mode.

Never 4get U, Thomas J.

The Most Ridiculous Tattoo Ever

Because Vonnegut is so 1922-2007.

I do not have testicles.

My hair lady recommended that I use Gold Bond to keep my bangs from getting dirty. Help! I feel pervy and would simply die if someone saw this in my bathroom and assumed I had testicles.