Ke$ha

Ad from House and Garden Magazine, 1961

My Top 10 Karaoke Songs

Karaoke should never be pretentious. No Kate Bush and no Joy Division.

1. Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby

2. Alanis Morisette - You Oughta Know

3. Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule - I'm Real (Remix)

4. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

5. Liz Phair - H.W.C.

6. Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen

7. Hole - Violet
Bonus: You can blame all of your bad behavior on just being really good at impersonating Courtney Love

8. Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta

9. Deniece Williams - Let's Hear It For The Boy

10. En Vogue - Never Gonna Get It

Ode to Ice Cream by Vada Sultenfuss

I like ice cream a whole lot/It tastes good on days that are hot/On a cone or in a dish/This will be my only wish/Vanilla, chocolate, rocky road/Even with pie, a la mode.

Never 4get U, Thomas J.

The Most Ridiculous Tattoo Ever

Because Vonnegut is so 1922-2007.

I do not have testicles.

My hair lady recommended that I use Gold Bond to keep my bangs from getting dirty. Help! I feel pervy and would simply die if someone saw this in my bathroom and assumed I had testicles.

New Yorkers, This Is Not Acceptable

Cowboy rainboots. Hideous. Pick a theme and stick with it. There is no reason that I should've seen two different people wearing these this morning. Now, that's not to say that cows and rain are mutually exclusive, but at least on the Q train they are.

Here are some better ways to spend $69:

1) 35 Chik-Fil-A chicken biscuits

2) 11 bargain bin DVD's from Duane Reade

3) 39 Momofuku Milk Bar Cereal Cookies

4) .03 Balenciaga Biker Jacket

Everytime a New Yorker wears cowboy rainboots, LA wins a little. We've got to think big picture here.